Beauty, Really?

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?
Do you feel beautiful? Ugly?

Being a teen girl is hard enough with school, friends, parents, boys, and the list goes on. For some reason, we always put an extra pressure on ourselves to be beautiful. We KILL ourselves to get that one boys attention or to hear the 3 words, "you look beautiful."

Whether it be in putting on more make-up, styling our hair a certain way, having the best clothes, or hardly eating, girls are constantly striving to be beautiful.

I think the biggest pressure girls put on themselves is to be thin.

We look at TV stars or Victoria Secret models and see their bodies...stick thin. We also see that guys are in awe of these girls. So, we think if we look like them, we can get a guys attention, too!

It may not be that you want to be thin for a guy; maybe it is because of your parents.

Your parents might tell you to loose weight or stop eating so much! Then you get upset and they say that they are just looking out for you and the cycle continues.

Some girls take things to extremes. You might become very cautious of what you are eating, record your calories, workout all the time, or even worse, fall into the trap of an eating disorder.

Being obsessive about your weight won't change a thing about what you're feeling in your heart. Your longing to feel beautiful won't be found by what you see in the mirror.

God created us in the perfect image of Him. We all have different flaws or things we don't like about our appearance... but God blessed us with those differences for a purpose.

I know for me, I have a very small figure. You can easily tell when I loose definition in my arms, stomach, or legs. Also, it is VERY obvious when I put on a few pounds. The worst part is, I AM OBSESSED WITH FOOD. I literally eat just because I am bored or think it is fun. Growing up, I kind of ate whatever I wanted and didn't see anything change in my body because I was always active with my running and dance. When I moved to California, I was no longer on a cross-country and track team, nor dance team. Yes, I still dance and run, but not like I used to. However, I kept eating the same way. Eventually the food caught up with my body and I began to fill out. Now, another problem... I eat when I am sad. Seeing that I was gaining weight, I became sad! WHICH MADE ME WANT TO EAT SOME COOKIE DOUGH ICE CREAM!!!!

One morning when I was reading my bible, I came across this verse:

You satisfy me more than the richest of foods. Psalms 63:5 (NLT)

That really spoke to me in the fact that Jesus should satisify me more than food. I don't have to constantly be thinking about food, I should be thinking about Him instead. 

Then, I came across this verse: 

The eyes of all look to you in hope; you give them their food as they need it. When you open your hand, you satisfy the hunger and thirst of every living thing. Psalms 145:15-16 (NLT)

For me, I was always opening my hands to grab food. However, it was my heart that I needed to open. I needed to open my heart and let God fill that constant need of food. 

I am still working on not always thinking about food. However, now when I get super hungry, I remember that Jesus went 40 days without food.... so I can go a few hours.  

Your body is a temple of the Lord. He created it to be what He wants it to be. Don't abuse it by not taking care of it. 

Now back to the topic of beauty. Beauty isn't defined by what you see when you look in the mirror. I looked at the dictionary definition, which stated: 

an individually pleasing or beautiful quality; grace; charm.

Beauty isn't defined by what you see when you look in the mirror. It is that one extra thing that comes from within. Your personality and happiness is what makes someone beautiful in my eyes. A girl who is happy with her appearance and doesn't compare herself to other girls, size wise, is a truly confident, beautiful lady. 

Embrace yourself, for the Lord created you to look different than everybody else. 

Firmly Planted

When December first hit I immediately wondered what had happened to 2011. I still feel like we are in 2010. I almost felt like I had wasted an entire year of my life.

That day, as I sat down to read my bible, it became aware to me that 2011 was my growing year. God knew that I needed to grow up mentally and physically. Turning 18 and becoming a legal adult means that technically I am on my own and need to start being independent.

I don't know... but that scared me.

This past week has been a huge dance week for me. I got called into five different dance auditions. Dance auditions are different then acting ones. For acting, you audition and then wait for a call. When it comes to dance, you typically get typed cast first. Which means that the choreographer looks at you and determines if you look the part. They will either ask you to stay or leave. Then if you make it past that round, you learn the combo, audition in small groups, then they ask you to stay or leave. They continue that process until they get it down to the final group that they cast.

I think that dance auditions are more imitating then acting because you get told yes or no right to your face.
Through growing my thick skin, I have also gained a lot of understanding when it comes to "my path."

It says numerous times in the bible that God has a path created for you, that leads you directly to Him. He knows all about you even before you are born.

Thinking about that, for me, is mind blowing. Someone actually knows where you will be in 12 hours, 34 minutes, and 17 seconds. THAT IS CRAZY!

I have been able to turn that thought into my career. Understanding that when I get "cut" at an audition, it is all apart of God's plan for my life. I have to accept it, put it behind me, and move on.

God really does know what you can and can't do in your life because of the future He has created for you.

A perfect example was when I was competing at Miss California's Outstanding Teen. It wasn't up to me whether or not I won. It was up to God and I accepted that He will determine my fate. It worked out perfectly in the fact that I didn't win. If you win, you go onto compete at Miss America's Outstanding Teen. The same week that the national pageant was, I was shooting G L E E. God knew I couldn't win because He was going to use me in another way!

Going back to my first few sentences when mentioning about 2011...my year has gone somewhere. Every step I take is a step closer to seeing my Father. Every time I get cut at an audition, I have to trust that my feet will guide me to something better along my path.
My feet cannot waiver. They cannot shake. They cannot take a step back. For God is with me and will guide and direct me in the way HE wants me to walk. Not the way I want.

What is going on in your life? Has something not gone your way? How did you react? Did you get upset and have a negative attitude the rest of the day. Then you are taking a step back on your path. God makes all things work together for YOUR good. He isn't out to hurt you or make you upset.

The last thing He wants is for you to be in a bad mood. You have no idea when your feet will run out of room on your path. It might be in 50 years, 10 years, 5 months, 3 weeks, tonight. We have no control over your path.

People ask me all the time how I can be so positive when I am dealing with the things in my life. A lot of people ask me this after being cut at an audition and wonder why I handle rejection so well. It is a simple answer for me.
I don't know when my last breath will be, so I am not going to waste my current breaths by being upset or down. You shouldn't either.

Trust each step God forces your feet to take. Whether you like it or not, it will eventually work out with God's will.

Don't Disqualify Yourself

Have you ever stopped in the pitch dark and complete silence, when you are all alone to listen to God's words? I think that is when you are the most raw. Nothing to distract you. However, life is full of distractions.

All of us have a starting line. It was created before we were born, and we were able to take our first step across it when we were born. Every individuals race is different.

For me, I was in and out of the hospital many times when I was a child. From having a cyst at birth to having a hernia at 3 months.

I immediately started my race with some trials.

As I started to grow and form into a child, my race began to smooth out. I was doing well in school, dance, and even gained a new love of running in 3rd grade.

When middle school began, I had a little bit of a harder time in school because I put my focus more on dance and running. However, I quickly learned that some "things" need to be rearranged in my order of priorities!

High school has been a different experience for me than it is for most teenagers. Going to a charter school, basically teaching myself, has taught me a lot! A whole new level of time management, that is for sure! Of course I am still running and dancing, but I also picked up a new love of acting.

While I was in my high school years, God "blessed" me with a storm. Well, many storms. It began with my back. Having severe scoliosis has changed my life. Having a severe multifactorial disorder that only affects 68,000 people in the United States leaves me speechless. Living within a plastic cast gave me a new appreciation for disabilities. Along with that, I dealt with my aunt dying from breast cancer within 4 weeks of finding out she was diagnosed. On top of that, I am going through all of the teenage problems and family situations.

If you look back at the start of that paragraph, I said that God "blessed" me with a storm. Yes, I consider all of those things to be a blessing.

Romans 8:28 reads:
And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those that love God and are called according to His purpose for them.

Matthew 15:28 reads:
Jesus said to her, "Women, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed at that moment.

John 20:27 reads:
Stop doubting and believe.

Matthew 17:7 reads:
..."Get up," he said. "Don't be afraid..."

Matthew 17:20 reads:
"You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE."

Those are a few of my favorite bible verses.

Once we step over that starting line, we are putting our trust in the Lord to lead us according to His plan for our life. Are you letting Him?

Even if trials come into your life, you have to remember God put them there for a reason.

You have to learn how to handle the curves, hills, and the occasional punch in the stomach. Sometimes we disqualify ourselves from the race. We don't think we can handle it or we give up. Hey, we can't give up, we have to rise up. When challenge arises, grab that opportunity to turn things around in your life.

God has an assignment for you to live out. Be bold, courageous, obedient, and determined.
Put on the armour of God and prepare for battle. However, you will notice there isn't much armour for your backside. That is because you aren't supposed to run away from battle, you are supposed to run straight into it.

Don't disqualify yourself. Imagine the light you will see after the storm passes. Rise up and reach for that light.

Fox Hole Friends

A wise person once said, "Your five closest friends are a reflection of you."

Do you find that to be true? Right now, make a list of your five closest friends. If they had to "do" something in your place today, would they embarrass you or make you happy?

For us, we are a reflection of Christ Jesus. So, in a sense our friends are also a reflection of Christ Jesus....if we are who we say we are.

Go to that list you made and answer these questions.
1. Do you feel good about yourself when you are around them?
2. What do you talk about? Gossip? Drama?
3. Is what you talk about making you a better person?
4. Do you feel like you have to "win" a place in their life?
5. Are you being a good reflection of Christ when you are around them?

Don't lie to yourself when you are answering those questions. We all know that we have the friends that we want to be around because they are more popular, richer, older, more successful, or prettier. But those things can't define who we are. Sure they can make people look at us for a little while but then the fascination wears off. People begin to see the real you or get tired of being friends with a fake.

The definition of a friend is, "someone who gives assistance."

A friend should be helping you climb the next step in your life, move that mountain, and always be holding your hand and assisting you.
Not breaking you down, putting you in danger, or making you act like someone you aren't. You need to surround yourself with the opposite and remove those that aren't bringing you up through Christ.

When you meet someone you always try to put on your "best". When you think about it, your best isn't the real you. It is who you want to be, when you want it be. The real you is who you are when you are behind closed doors. THAT person is what you need to show to people. If you aren't happy with THAT person, then you need to ask God to help you change.

When you surround yourself with people who aren't afraid to NOT always be their best, who are always there assist you, be a shoulder to lean on, and be courageous enough to stand out and be a reflection of Christ, then you know you have a solid friend. AND THAT is where the Devil with come in.

The Devil will come with all guns loaded ready to kill, steal, and destroy. He wants nothing more than for you to be all alone in this world. He will push every avenue He can to break up your friendship. However, if you are both in a walk with Christ, Satan will stand no chance.

You and your friend (s) have to stand by each other no matter what. No lie, rumor, or misguidance will break you apart because those are all things from the Devil.

Having friends is like being in a battle at all times. You are always protecting one another from the enemy, Satan.

The definition for "fox hole" is, "a small pit, usually for one or two soldiers, dug as a shelter in a battle area."

You have to be fox hole friends. Willing to put your life at risk for each other. Being courageous enough to stand up together, rise above everyone else, and show that the Devil cannot break down your shelter. BECAUSE God is the greatest friend, father, leader, and commander of all.

The Big 18

Turning 18 is a milestone in your life!
I was privileged to spend it with my mom and sister. For my gift, my mom flew my sister and me to Denver, Colorado to run the marathon (she and Rachel ran it) and the half marathon (I ran it)! While we were there, I was able to catch up with one of my best friends who used to live in LA, Ashlan and her brother Adam.

The Denver weather (for this weekend) was much different than California weather! It was cold, rainy, and snowy! My skin and nose is very sensitive to this weather, so they weren't too happy! :( Also, Denver is much higher in altitude than L.A..

The whole altitude difference was what we were most nervous about for the race. We just tried not to think about it too much and act as if it was simply another race.

I was feeling pretty well during the first 6 miles of the race. I do have a very sensitive stomach, so every time I took a fluid, I could feel my stomach turn. Around 6.5 miles, they gave us cytomax for the first time. (It is just like Gatorade) I took one sip, as I was still running, and my stomach turned to knots and my throat closed up. I began choking on the drink! Which then caused me to "throw up."

However, I NEVER STOPPED RUNNING! I think that was what I was most proud of :)

I have had many injuries and tight muscles throughout this training process. I came to a point where I said, "Alright, my goal is just to finish without walking."
No matter how much pain I ran into, how weak I felt, or how sick I was, I didn't want to walk.

After I "got" everything "up," my body physically felt weak. I wasn't sure if it was the fact that I had been running for an hour or that I just got sick. Oh, or the fact that it was 30 degrees and I was cold and we were running uphill.

I turned to my last resort, finding a good song on my Ipod. Even my Mercy Me songs seemed to be so slow. I really needed something to carry me through the last half of the race.
So, at mile 8 I started praying.

My attitude began to change. My pace picked up and I just remember thinking, I could be in a hospital bed being treated for cancer.

Then mile 12 came... it was all uphill. OH NO! Growing up I was a decent hill runner. Now though, it spikes up pain in my knees. But hey, I WASN'T GOING TO WALK!

I pushed up that hill. The only thing I was saying was, "The sooner I get up the hill, the sooner I am done."

I made it up the hill and saw the 13 mile sign! THAT MEANT I ONLY HAVE .1 MILES TO GO!

I yelled PRAISE THE LORD!!!! I got a whole new energy in me that I hadn't felt at all in the race.
Clearly, it was the grace of God giving me a nice strong finish.

Also, at the same exact time, my favorite Christian song, You Are by Jason Castro, came on my Ipod. I finally found a song that seemed uplifting!

God is always pushing us to new extremes. Even if we don't think we can handle it, He knows we can. He gives us talents for us to use, wisdom to achieve, and love so we never feel alone.

Remember,
"I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength!"

Be a F I G H T E R

Last night when I was laying in bed, I was trying to remember everything I did throughout the day. From brushing my teeth to going to an audition. I realized, we do a lot more in a day then we think!

A lot of the different things that we do may cause stress, pain, anger, sadness, or happiness.

Try to remember what you have done today. Did something put you in a bad mood? How did you react when "IT" happened?

God puts storms in our life for a purpose. There is no doubting that. However, the real storm is how we handle it.

Do you get angry with someone? Do you doubt God? Do you become upset and think of the worse?

Or..
Do you get on your knees, pray and cry out to God, get up, go on with your day, and trust in Him?

Most people tend to do the first thing. When we should really do the second.

God has every single step that we take planned out. He has had them planned since before we were born. So, why would you NOT trust Him? He knows what the outcome will be and He promises to take care of us.

When a lot of people find pain, they tend to give up and give in to Satan. When you are at your weakest, Satan is at his strongest. If you let one bad thought cross your mind, Satan is starting his web that will soon have you trapped.

Each morning when you wake up, you should pray the Armour of God on you. To protect you from things or ideas from Satan. But, you also need to put on your boxing gloves.

Be ready to fight back. Be ready to yell at Satan. Be ready to defeat Satan.

If you follow me on Twitter (@adrienneberry), you would know that I tweet... A LOT! I have copied and pasted some of my tweets from this week that apply to this blog. Before you go read them, I will leave you with this...

If you are going through a storm, having pain, or sadness in your life, nothing compares to the pain that Jesus felt hanging on the cross. Imagine nails going through your hands and feet and being beaten to death. He did that, so you could have life. Whenever you think your world is turned upside down and you are angry or upset, always remember the pain God went through. It is nothing compared to what we are complaining about.

The pain may be extreme but that will make the victory so much stronger. A fighter needs to focus on the prize not the price.


You may have beaten me yesterday, but you will not beat me today, SATAN! You are a liar, and you will always be defeated bc I'm a fighter!


In spite of your past, god can still use you for your future.


I'm gonna fight the fight of my life. So should you...

Pendelton

First of all, I need to say sorry for not posting in almost a month! YIKES!

As many of you know, last night my Glee episode aired. I was privileged to play the role of Pendelton and was able to sing, dance, and act.

I shot this episode about a month ago and I was on cloud nine that I even booked the job! Counting down the days until it aired, I got more nervous every day. Wondering how I looked, which take they went with, and many other things.

I am from Indiana, so many of my family and friends were able to see it before I was! (Indiana is 3 hours ahead of CA) My mom was there and she said that I looked very cute, but my lines were cut.

As an actress, that is my biggest fear. When just being a guest star on a show, you never know what they are going to do with your lines. The writers and producers main focus in an episode is on the MAIN cast, so if they are over in time and need to cut something, they tend to go to the guest star.

When my mom told me this I was sick to my stomach and immediately started crying. I was thinking:
What did I do wrong?
It is a clear indication that they didn't like me.
I must have been awful.

It didn't even occur to me that there could be a time issue or even the fact that maybe my lines just didn't fit in. Both of those things were the case.

In that moment (and about the next 20) I was so mad at God. Wondering why He blessed me with that speaking part and then take it away? How could He get my hopes up and then do that to me?

I was crushed.

I was with my sister when all of this took place. She kept saying to me, "I can't believe the way you are acting right now. SO many people would kill to be in your position, to even have that opportunity. People would even kill to take a step on that set." I understood what she was saying but I was so caught up in feeling sorry for myself. Then she said "You are letting God down."

That hit me. I knew that I had let God down and I became so afraid that He wouldn't forgive me.

When the show came on that night, I still had speaking lines. Just not all of them. Plus I was seen a lot in the dance! I was more than happy and I was ashamed at how I acted to God earlier.

There is no reason for you to ever doubt God. He always knows what is best for you. Even if it hurts, there is always a smile and His open arms waiting to hold you.

Romans 8:28 says--
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.


I asked God for forgiveness. And just like that, He forgave me. How often do you doubt something? Think you aren't good enough? Or even question "why"? 


You don't need to ask or doubt. God has everything already planned and it will all work out if you stay faithful to Him. Forever and always!