When December first hit I immediately wondered what had happened to 2011. I still feel like we are in 2010. I almost felt like I had wasted an entire year of my life.
That day, as I sat down to read my bible, it became aware to me that 2011 was my growing year. God knew that I needed to grow up mentally and physically. Turning 18 and becoming a legal adult means that technically I am on my own and need to start being independent.
I don't know... but that scared me.
This past week has been a huge dance week for me. I got called into five different dance auditions. Dance auditions are different then acting ones. For acting, you audition and then wait for a call. When it comes to dance, you typically get typed cast first. Which means that the choreographer looks at you and determines if you look the part. They will either ask you to stay or leave. Then if you make it past that round, you learn the combo, audition in small groups, then they ask you to stay or leave. They continue that process until they get it down to the final group that they cast.
I think that dance auditions are more imitating then acting because you get told yes or no right to your face.
Through growing my thick skin, I have also gained a lot of understanding when it comes to "my path."
It says numerous times in the bible that God has a path created for you, that leads you directly to Him. He knows all about you even before you are born.
Thinking about that, for me, is mind blowing. Someone actually knows where you will be in 12 hours, 34 minutes, and 17 seconds. THAT IS CRAZY!
I have been able to turn that thought into my career. Understanding that when I get "cut" at an audition, it is all apart of God's plan for my life. I have to accept it, put it behind me, and move on.
God really does know what you can and can't do in your life because of the future He has created for you.
A perfect example was when I was competing at Miss California's Outstanding Teen. It wasn't up to me whether or not I won. It was up to God and I accepted that He will determine my fate. It worked out perfectly in the fact that I didn't win. If you win, you go onto compete at Miss America's Outstanding Teen. The same week that the national pageant was, I was shooting G L E E. God knew I couldn't win because He was going to use me in another way!
Going back to my first few sentences when mentioning about 2011...my year has gone somewhere. Every step I take is a step closer to seeing my Father. Every time I get cut at an audition, I have to trust that my feet will guide me to something better along my path.
My feet cannot waiver. They cannot shake. They cannot take a step back. For God is with me and will guide and direct me in the way HE wants me to walk. Not the way I want.
What is going on in your life? Has something not gone your way? How did you react? Did you get upset and have a negative attitude the rest of the day. Then you are taking a step back on your path. God makes all things work together for YOUR good. He isn't out to hurt you or make you upset.
The last thing He wants is for you to be in a bad mood. You have no idea when your feet will run out of room on your path. It might be in 50 years, 10 years, 5 months, 3 weeks, tonight. We have no control over your path.
People ask me all the time how I can be so positive when I am dealing with the things in my life. A lot of people ask me this after being cut at an audition and wonder why I handle rejection so well. It is a simple answer for me.
I don't know when my last breath will be, so I am not going to waste my current breaths by being upset or down. You shouldn't either.
Trust each step God forces your feet to take. Whether you like it or not, it will eventually work out with God's will.
